Fetch a sexy escort or two...

Is it only me but do actor David Walliams and model Lara Stone look an ill matched couple? The Little Britain star, some fifteen years her senior, is best known for dressing up as women and spouting silly catch phrases whilst his Dutch wife is adored by her many female and male fans all over the world for her toothy pout and gorgeous slim body. I suppose we girls do like a guy with a sense of humour but if my beau were playing a character with an inability to control their bladder I’m not sure that I would see the funny side. Walliams best known character is a cross dresser with a moustache and a beard who loudly proclaims “I’m a lady” at every opportunity defying the visible evidence. His partner in televisual crime – I have never found the show funny – gay comedian Matt Lucas is also something of an odd bod with his most popular comic creations being a female teenage chav and a Welshman with a proclivity for dressing in fetish gear and telling anyone who will listen “I am the only gay in the village”.

Cross dressing aside I just don’t find the man a sexual animal. He comes across asexual at best and I just can’t imagine him undressing his delicious young wife and making hot and passionate love to her but then I have been wrong before and I will be wrong again and anyway what do I know what goes on behind locked doors at the Walliam’s mansion?

There is a blonde escort at Hertfordshire visiting escorts who is the spitting image of Ms Stone, all except for the gap toothed smile. She has the same long legs, same slim figure and the same mesmerising eyes. I have something of a crush on her but unfortunately the girl is one hundred per cent heterosexual and so I have little chance of enjoying her physical delights. I envy the clients of the escort agency who can book the busty escort and enjoy intimate companionship and a sensual massage in the comfort of their home or hotel. Still, as that new website states “there are plenty of fish in the sea” and if ever Lara came back on to the market she is one fish I would sincerely love to hook…

In her short red dress, black stockings and high heels Lara looks lovely in the papers today though I’m not sure that her outfit is perfectly suitable for walking the dog. Meanwhile in his Armani suit David isn’t exactly dressed to play fetch. Perhaps it’s some kind of fetish thing and the idea is that later he will have to sit up and beg!